I wrote some humour columns for a London publication’s online presence a while back. They disappeared into the ether, but now they are here for your viewing pleasure. Click on the category to find them. Continue reading
Category Archives: The Lost Humour Columns
Sampling London’s Delights
So my mum and my aunt came for a visit from the States. This was my aunt’s first time overseas, and she was very excited to see London. However, imagine my surprise when I worked out what their favourite part of the visit was. My mum brought her Apple laptop over with her, and I … Continue reading
There’s More Romance in a Subterranean Refuge than My House
As I write this it’s been two weeks since the Chilean miners were rescued. And what a joyous, inspiring television spectacle that was, wasn’t it? I joined about a billion people watching the live coverage worldwide as the miners were slowly shifted from their underground refuge to the surface. The whole world held its breath … Continue reading
Are You a Man?
Ah, kids. Adolescent insults haven’t improved since I was a sullen fifteen-year-old. Walking in a public park recently I passed a group of teenagers whose commentary, “Hey! You! Hey! Are you a man? Hey! Hey you! Are you a man?” was singularly uninspired. Or at least so I thought. Until a few days later when … Continue reading
Mr Fix-It
So now I’m all moved in to my new flat here in London. As we covered in my last column, moving out is always a process. Moving in also comes with its share of trials, tribulations, and adjustments. Basically the second I moved in I began demanding that my poor long-suffering flatmate began fixing everything. … Continue reading
The Resentful Custard
Everyone who’s ever moved house knows that in your final days you wind up eating a variety of strange things because you just can’t take everything with you. On their own, these things are perfectly normal ingredients found in many cupboards across the land. It is in the combinations that are only tried out of … Continue reading
Accidental Thief
Mainly I’m an accidental thief. The first time this became apparent was during the Airplane Jacket Incident of ’09. Flying back to the UK I sat in an exit row on the side of the plane, under that funny little mini-overhead bin that only accommodates the two people right in that row. I smiled at … Continue reading
Raisingate
Take heed of the unremarked but insidious pestilence of raisins. They get into everything! Nobody else seems to be concerned about this. Personally, I have an abiding hatred of them. This may not seem at first glance to be an issue of pressing importance, but you have obviously never been in the same vicinity as … Continue reading